


Liho's Hoomans

by Cocoa_N_Donuts



Series: Blackhill Week 2018 [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blackhill Week 2018, Day 3: Liho, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 14:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13460394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cocoa_N_Donuts/pseuds/Cocoa_N_Donuts
Summary: "The next time the Tall Human appears in their doorway, Liho mews for Natasha to watch and learn before she pounces and begins attacking the Tall Human into submission."This is the story of how Liho adopted two hoomans.





	Liho's Hoomans

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Magyar available: [Liho emberkéi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15240093) by [RealmsDoll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealmsDoll/pseuds/RealmsDoll)



Liho  _ loathes  _ the Tall Human. Ever since she came over smelling of soap and citrus and everything that isn’t Liho, Liho’s human had been so distracted, she’d practically neglected Liho. She gave up cuddling night only to shut Liho out of her room altogether, making loud noises with the Tall Human the entire night that had kept Liho awake. 

Then the Tall Human leaves, and her human turns into a giddy pile of mush who will not stop talking about the Tall Human even after she’d le ft, “I love her so much, Liho. Especially when she pins me so easily to the bed and just spends hours eating me out  _ so well _ .”

Liho was disgusted that the capable human she chose had allowed herself to be pinned down by a single Tall Human. She guesses that the Tall Human was larger in size than Natasha, but that was no excuse. Liho has made German Shepherds show their bellies in submission with only a bat of her paw, and she will show Natasha how the next time she has a chance. 

The next time the Tall Human appears in their doorway, Liho mews for Natasha to watch and  _ learn _ before she pounces and begins attacking the Tall Human into submission. But before she could do severe damage, Natasha screams-actually screams- for Liho to stop, and pries her away from the Tall Human. 

Liho squirms, and Natasha drops her. She lands on all four feet, fully dignified, tail swishing from side to side agitatedly, and she prances away. Natasha is turning  _ weak _ . Hopefully Liho wouldn’t need to find a new human to train. 

Liho misses her grumpy human. She catches wind of Natasha’s multiple apologies to the Tall Human, and almost rolls her eyes before laying down on Natasha’s pillow to nap in the afternoon sun. 

The next time Natasha leaves for a longer period of time, the Tall Human lets herself in, dragging a rolley-box behind her that makes a terrible sound when dragged over the marble floor. Liho sniffs it, interested, before deciding that it was too big to be snug for Liho. 

She sneezes, there was too much smell that  _ wasn’t _ hers or her human’s, and she attempts to slink away.

But The Tall Human sits on the ground, and something crinkles in the air. A most amazing smell fills the air, and turns to search for its source.

It comes from the piece of cheese in the Tall Human’s hands. Liho sniffs the air excitedly, but keeps her distance. The Tall Human makes cooing sounds, and Liho inches forward. 

“I know you don’t like me, Liho. But as two of the three beings that Natasha actually loves, we’re going to have to work cordially together.”

Liho cautiously approaches the treat stick and takes a nibble; it's delicious. She continues chomping down on it. 

“Good girl… Nat did say you love cheese…” 

Liho accepts a few pats and scratches on her head while she eats. If the Tall Human can keep this treatment up, Liho would be able to tolerate her. She’d just have to rub her smell all over the Tall Human. Liho sighs, though undeterred. The next few days without Natasha are going to be long. 

Liho stuck true to her plan. For the next few days, Liho spent every minute she had available scent marking the Tall Human. She slinked between the Tall Human’s legs when she returned at night, marking her ankles, before she was scooped up. Then she started to rub herself all over the Tall Human’s scent glands, only stopping when she was content that the Tall Human smelled satisfyingly similar to her. 

Of course, Liho had to show the Tall Human who’s boss, so when she felt like it, she made sure to have the Tall Human’s attention, before walking away. Or toppling things that laid around the house.

Liho enjoyed the time when the Tall Human was gone during the day, taking extra care to roll around in the rolley-box that Tall Human had brought in and laid open in the middle of the room, even taking care to shed a little on the fabric that humans called clothes. 

She considered scent marking with her pee- that would be the fastest route, but from experience, Liho knew that that course of action would only lead to loud voices (that Liho’s sensitive ears hated) and the fabrics, a wash in the loud-tumble-wet machine, which would be entirely counter productive to Liho’s plan to scent mark the Tall Human. 

That did not mean that Liho did not train the Tall Human. She scolded the human loudly, meowing incessantly and even growling when her evening meals came late— Tall Human was even worse than Natasha at coming home on time. She hisses and bats at Tall Human’s arm- claws and all- whenever the tall human strokes anywhere that wasn’t on her head or chin, and she lies on the bed instead of on the Tall Human’s chest whenever they fall asleep. Liho wasn’t happy, but she was content. 

Until one night, Liho smells Natasha, hears her rushing down the corridor.

But she also smells blood. And heavier footsteps behind her favourite human. 

Liho yowls, jumps up, and dashes to the door, chittering, all the hair on her back standing on edge as she prepares for a fight. 

The Tall Human, thankfully, seems to take Liho’s warning seriously. She jumps up from her perch on the sofa, and grabs something that fits in her hand, small and black, from under the coffee table, pulls the top part of it back— it makes a  _ click _ sound, and the sense of danger begins wafting from it. 

There was no sound from behind the door, but Liho can smell Natasha and all the blood on her on the opposite side. She yowls again, and the door shifts open, and Natasha slinks in. 

“I’m sorry, love,” Natasha says to both her and the Tall Human. “I was ambushed and th-These crazies followed me and I—“ Natasha clutches at a bleeding wound at her side. “I needed help.” Shame colours her last words. 

The scent of pain from Natasha is cloying in Liho’s nose, but the Tall Human’s scent- as unwelcome as it had before- radiates a calm vigilance that cuts through Natasha’s. The Tall Human ushers Natasha behind the kitchen counter, strips off her outer-torso-fabric and tosses it Natasha. Natasha balls it up and presses it to her wound immediately. Liho snuggles into Natasha’s side, and even Liho could tell how bad the injury is— she immediately begins purring to help Natasha recover as fast as she can. 

Sniffing the air, Liho could tell that they were being surrounded by those nasty men who had been following Natasha. She hears them coordinating, and the moment they started moving, she yowls again to inform Tall Human. 

Tall Human was good. She immediately tensed when Liho yowled, and shot three men in black the moment they entered her line of sight. The blasts from the loud-boom-stick were deafening, and Liho started cowering before she realised what she was doing. 

When the Tall Human’s weapon began clicking uselessly in her hands, she charged forward, fearlessly with a growl. Liho watched in fascination, still curled up with Natasha, as the Tall Human single handedly brought down five more assailants before being struck on the shoulder, across the face by an even larger man. 

The men had larger loud-boom-sticks, but Maria was great at getting the men to drop their loud-boom-sticks. Still, there were simply too many men, and only one Maria. Liho watches as the men begin drawing large knives when Maria got too close. Maria is simply overwhelmed, and large cuts begin appearing on her limbs. 

“Maria!” Natasha gasped. 

The fight seemed to be going badly for even Maria, who seem to have been swarmed and surrounded by those evil smelling guys, so Liho looked again at Natasha, meows a “watch and learn” at her human, and streaks off to bite one man in the eye. 

The man screams in pain, grabbing Liho roughly and tossing her to the side. She hits a wall and drops onto the wooden floor, landing heavily on her front left paw. 

The man is now stalking towards her, but at least he’s out of Maria’s fray. 

“Liho!” 

Natasha breaks cover, comes running towards Liho, and she begins fighting the man, eventually using the glowy-sparky collars on her hands and frying the man alive. Liho did not like the smell of burnt men. 

But once Natasha had broken cover, two more men disengaged from Maria and headed towards them. Natasha tries to fight one off, and Liho attacks the other one with whatever she has, but the man only holds her away from his face and begins squeezing her chest. It almost becomes too painful, and Natasha is being forced to her knees before—

_ Bang! Bang!  _

The pressure on her chest vanishes, and she flops onto the man who had collapsed. 

Natasha’s also panting heavily under the man who had collapsed on her. 

“Nat! Liho!” Maria’s voice sounded like fresh, cool water on a hot summer’s day, and Liho mewed softly, in pain and exhausted. Maria ran to them, gently scooped Liho up, and immediately pried the dead man off of Natasha. 

Maria looked bad, blood trickling down her head almost in torrents, but she smelled more anxious than hurt. 

But Nat looked and smelled worse, and Maria placed Liho gently on the ground, grabbed a gun from one of the fallen men, and took  off for the rest of the house. Everything was silent, until Liho hears Maria fumbling about in a drawer and then a cupboard once she has gone into every single room, shut all windows, and checked all cupboards. Liho had to respect Maria’s thoroughness. 

When M aria came back, she had a small-smooth-soundbox in between her ear and shoulder, and she was rattling off words clear and rapid,  “Requesting emergency medical assistance code 3-1-7-5, and veternarian assistance…” she recited their address, before laying the first aid kit, and a blanket beside Natasha and Liho. 

As soon as she was done with the phone, she just released it and let it clatter to the ground. She gently arranged the blanket into a soft nest and lowered Liho gently into it, before turning to Natasha and opening the kit. 

Her movements were fast, and trained, and had Natasha looking much better, if a little odd with white pieces of fabrics here and there, within minutes. 

“Maria, you’re bleeding too.” Natasha says, but Maria only brushes her away and continues tending to Natasha. 

Liho is in love. She finally sees what Natasha had been going on about with Maria now. 

Not long after, more footsteps sounded in the corridor. Liho sensed urgency without hostility, and allowed the unlocked door to open with only a small mewl. 

“Your cat is something else. She barely yowls. So when she does, you know that something is up. She’s a good burglar alarm that way.”

Liho would preen at that praise, but she’s too exhausted to do so. 

She decides that she will keep this Tall Human, too. 

The next few weeks, Liho recovers alongside her humans. Strange people in blue tried to put her in a separate room- tries to cage her- but she screams until they put her in the same room as her humans. It turns out that Maria’s wounds wasn’t as small as she made it to be, and she had to stay in the same room as Natasha for almost as long as she did. But Liho was happy. 

When they got back home, it was a new one with a different layout, with both of her humans. Liho stalks around, sniffing at everything, and it smells of her new human. She’d learned to love the smell now, so calm yet assertive. And so Liho goes around, trying to find the best spots to hide, to scratch, and to sunbathe in. 

Her owners made very weird sounds from a locked room again, that night. And Liho growls with annoyance, tries to dig her claws and ears into her bed- that Maria had set aside for Liho in the living room-- to drown out the horrible keening noises. 

The days pass and Liho slowly trains the both of her humans. Liho wants to be proud and say that they learn quickly, but unfortunately they learn quickly at how to counter Liho’s training methods, so she only keeps up her efforts with renewed vigour. Unfortunately, the most important lesson-- feeding Liho on time-- always falls on deaf ears and patronising words. 

But Liho had always liked a challenge. 

Only one day, Maria the Tall Human started sniffling, and, to Liho’s abject horror, falls ill, coughing and sneezing to no end. The air is filled with more bacteria than normal and Liho gives a few small wuffles of her own. Maria leaves her room only to collapse on the sofa, and Natasha taps on those smooth devices that beep sometimes, and puts it to her ear. Humans are so strange sometimes. 

“Fury? Hill won’t be coming in today. She barely made it out of her room.” There was a pregnant pause from Natasha. “Yes, I know, I’ll cover for her and Barton can take my place. Trust me, you aren’t going to want her in the office today.” 

Just then, Maria retches and rushes for the bathroom. 

“Babe, are you okay?” Natasha runs off in the same direction. “Listen Nick, I would really rather stay at home and take care of my girlfriend, and I know that things are urgent in the office. But I’m telling you that Maria absolutely can’t make it into the office today, no matter how much she is the central gear to the smooth functioning of the top secret organisation you happen to head…”

The bathroom door closes behind Natasha, and Liho chooses to go to sleep in the midst of all the morning chaos. 

When she next wakes, her food bowl is full, next to her waterbowl, and Maria is fast asleep on the couch, bundled up in blankets, a bucket on the ground next to the ground. The stereo is playing a soothing melody with the rough wheezing of Maria’s breath punctuating it at regular intervals. 

Liho chomps down on her breakfast, slurps up on some water, and cleans herself. Then she takes one look at the poor human on the sofa and takes pity on her. Leaping onto the sofa, Liho curls herself into a ball around Maria’s chest. Then she begins her recovery purr to get try making her human feel a little better. 

Her human sleeps on, and Liho joins her, purring her way into dreams. 

They both wake around one in the afternoon. 

“I’m starting to think that you might actually like me, Liho.” Maria says and scratches Liho under her chin. Liho stretches languidly, her recovery purr morphing into a pleased purr. 

Maria stands slowly, and busies herself around the kitchen for a little, pouring herself some water and taking something out from the big-cold-box and into the small-hot- box, pressing a few of its buttons before it buzzes and dings and the aroma of warm porridge fills the air. Maria takes it back to the couch and slowly devours half of it, before she’s wracked with a coughing fit and has to set the bowl down onto the coffee table. 

Liho plomps herself onto Maria’s lap, nuzzles her tummy in affection. 

“Yep. I’m definitely growing on you, aren’t I?” 

Liho chirps an affirmative. 

Maria smiles down at her and finishes her porridge. She leaves the bowl on the coffee table and lies down once again, this time on her back so Liho can cuddle on her chest and her recovery-purr will have maximum effect. 

They both sleep the afternoon away. 

The next thing Liho knows, there is a soft fumbling- kitty senses tell her it’s Natasha so she doesn’t open her eyes- followed by a soft cooing sound. 

At that, she opens her eyes and turns to eye Natasha, chastising, still purring softly. 

Can’t Natasha see that Maria needs all the rest she can get? 

Natasha has her smooth-flat device out and pointed directly to them as she taps on one spot repeatedly. 

“So cute. I have blackmail and wallpaper material. For years. ”

Maria stirs under Liho, and while Natasha squeals and taps her smooth-flat device a few times, Liho headbutts Maria and starts kneading her human, trying to get her to go back to rest, but it’s too late. 

“Nat? S’dat you?” Maria’s husky tone sounds beneath her, and Maria begins sitting up, still hugging Liho to her. 

“Hi, babe. I see you’ve won Liho over.” Nat replies, smooth-flat device still out. “How’re you feeling?” 

Maria nods and takes in her surroundings. “Better. Much better. I think Liho purred me well again.” 

This time, Liho did preen and lick her paw nonchalantly. She knew her human was smart. 

“Well. Good.” Natasha keeps the smooth-flat device away, “I bought treats and food for the both of you,” 

At the mention of that, Liho meows and leaps off Maria to twine herself over Natasha’s ankles, ingratiating herself with her other human.  

“Sometimes I’m a little scared at how intelligent our cat is.”

Oh, Liho could most definitely tell them exactly how intelligent she was, complete with a detailed explanation of the composition of their universe, in their human language, but the fallout from  _ that _ encounter was something Liho wasn’t willing to face just yet. She’ll just have her tuna and cheese treats complete with cuddles from her  _ hoomans  _ for now, thank you very much. 

Liho catches herself, eyes comically wide in shock. Since when had she used  _ baby talk  _ for her humans?! 

**Author's Note:**

> I grew up watching Sailormoon and nobody can convince me that Liho isn’t a relative of Luna and an alien cat who adopted Natasha because she was an interesting hooman. 
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed this piece! Let me know what you've thought of it! Thanks for reading!


End file.
